THIS is a placeholder. You see, I spent 6 hours on Sunday, pooring my heart out about how poor the last few weeks have gone, and then I read it, and as much I like spilling out everything on this blog, that post will be reserved for a psychiatrist and my biographer. So, rather than depressing you with the details of:
- My parents
- The really awkward weekend with my sister and brother in law
- The mess that my room and office is in
- The awkward upcoming weeks with my parents
- The unfulfilling aspects of my work (Although it has slowly been getting better.)
- The patch of carpet I've destroyed
- How mouldy cheese can get
- That time a few weeks ago I almost became victim of a one punch kill after making a suggestion about an orgy
- The actually quite nice drunk people I've become best friends with for a night
- That time I thought a girl was flirting with me, and it actually just turns out she knew me from work, (She can actually technically fire me, (Despite her friend saying "Whatever happens on the piss, stays on the piss." No it doesn't, it goes on Facebook.) so not going anywhere near that.)
- That time I had a flat battery
- That time, after being jump started by the RACQ guy that then stalled his car, locking my car in my garage, to run for about half an hour to recharge the battery, I was like 10 seconds from opening the door again, then I was like, wait, people KILL themselves that way... So having a garage that smelled like carbon monoxide for three days after
- What it's like to try and have a conversation about work while getting a lap dance
- That Swedish backpackers suck at Trivial Pursuit
- How to almost catch fire to a cupboard with a dodgey toaster and a pop tart
- That the word "Bubbler" is actually used to mean drinking fountain, I thought this was actually a joke done by Eastern States people to the rest of the world, but they ACTUALLY SAY IT.
- That time in the movie theatre that I had 10 year olds almost wet themselves when they found out there's a new Winnie the Pooh movie. (Yes, good books ARE still read to youngsters.)
- What it's like to get a free copy of Portal 2, then to get it signed by Ben "Yahtzee" Crosshaw
- SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
- What it's like to attend a model train expo
- What it's like to meet your neighbours wearing no pants
- I need to bring some washing in
- That I'm going to have a statue of a naked, pregnant 8 year old on my desk in a few weeks. Seriously, I don't know where the hell I'm going to put it. It is only short, but still awkward. And it glows in the dark. And going to be next to a statue of Duke Nukem.
- Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mt. Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.
God, life is so dull and boring right now. To make up for this, I propose a post "400 Days of Maturity." Which I really am putting a lot of effort into, put not revealing to much of other people's lives. This will go up HOPEFULLY on the 23rd of May. In the mean time...
Graffiti of the Week
Praise
The timeless Being
With your dick
Speaking of timeless beings, only 200 more seasons of Dr. Who :'(
Okay, this isn't graffiti, but I see it on the way to work and I just think it's hilarious, I mean, there's a beauty spa, willing to give you, well, okay I guess there'd be a limit of one per day. But that's still up to 31 facials. I mean that's a lot of face cream. I haven't enquired about a price for this service, but for someone to use that much face cream must be pretty expensive.
I'm actually not trying to make this a semen-related joke, that's just a serious amount of face time.
Positions sadly unavailable
Someone to tidy my place. The kitchen, bathroom and lounge room look lovely, but the study and my room.. Well, it looks like I live there.
That positions actually still avalible, but the second someone picks up the 5th bundle of tissues they get suspicious. I have had a TERRIBLE cold, I'm dead serious, I've got the vit C in my bag to prove it.
Places where she isn't
She doesn't go to RG's, or if she does, she makes one of those "I am unapproachable faces." or travels with friends. Females with more than two friends fall into this zone of "wanting to have a fun night" by themselves. Thing that annoys me about girls going out in groups is REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED and that apparently makes ever guy an REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED but secretly, that means she REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTEDa whipping boy REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED and she'd probably go into some guys van if they asked her to hop in REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED REDACTEDbut of course that reservedness just means she's the only sane one there. And as long as she's with those "friends" she probably won't get to talk with the guy who would REDACTED her like she needs it.
Until I get banned from the network, for posting actual content, goodbye.
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