Monday, March 7, 2011

Day 7670

This blog does not represent the opinion of any company, industry or persons mentioned. This blog is written for entertainment purposes only and is not be taken seriously.

What time is it?  The clock says half nine... Is that right? Sun is up a fair way. Yeah, I'd believe 9.30 am. Think I'm gonna lie here a bit. Erg.. I guess the flight was uneventful. Can't really believe I'm in another time zone, let alone the 22nd 26th of February I've seen. Actually I had bad colic for a while, and there was that year I had that tummy bug. And the first one I really pulled a half day. 


Let's go with "experienced" instead. This one was alright, an inscribed flask, a pasta maker and money from my extended family. So that was nice people being considerate about the fact that I had to haul it back to Brisbane so not buying me any items or objects of any sentimental value. I mean, that's totally the reason no one thought about something to give me. Okay, that did come off a little sour, and to be honest, I have a lot of trouble buying for some people, and it is very nice having some assistance for all these mysterious bills which keep turning up unannounced. Okay, slightly announced, but still, uncalled for.("All you're doing is burning stuff to make smoke and rotate a turbine, how dare you charge me for your smoke!"). But the knowledge that when I come back to Brisbane I was going to get no recognition at all (Except for my team leader, she's known me for such a short time, yet heard it was my birthday, so acknowledged me on Monday and we had a talk about the weekend, thank you so much. Although I scored a dead-to-me look when I indirectly called Adelaide a hole. So, recognition is unlikely ever going to happen again. I COME FROM PERTH. I deserved a retort.). It was just a shame that I couldn't see my mates (They were all busy and it was just the wrong weekend all around.) during this family event, and one of them couldn't say "Dude, I remembered once last year, you once mentioned in conversation just as I was walking out of earshot you suggested that one day you'd like a Slushie Cup, so I brought you one. And I could say "Really I admitted that once outloud?" and they could say, "Not really, but I could see in the look on your face that Lachlan needs a slushie cup." I don't really have any friends that have the ability to mind read, nor the real want or need for a slushie cup. But a reference to an old in-joke, or a "This is pointless but I know Lachlan, and Lachlan would love this" type gift. would of been nice to know that the previous 7669 days haven't been in vein.


As you can probably tell the finding friends thing is still not working out too well, it'll work out, but it's hard finding someone to relate to the "moved-across-the-country-for-a-job-but-seriously-too-young-to-be-looking-after-myself-and-and-would-like-to-find-a-group-to-drag-me-to-LANs-and-force-me-to-tidy-my-house-if-they-wanna-see-my-cool-setup-of-playing-Lips-over-skype" niche.


Although my parents did over deliver, with the simple gift of a tie clip. I have wanted a tie clip since I've worn ties and found they are very subjective to breeze. My parents didn't actually know this, I had said I would love a tie clip to nearly every person I've met except my parents . There are hot dog salespeople running small carts in Fortitude Valley that know I wanted a tie clip. My mum just somehow knew to give me a tie clip and went to several stores, and probably over payed for this simple gift. As well as giving me several other items (Like some financial assistance, not just for the sake of giving me financial assistance, for the sake that they knew I wanted to take the train up and go see some of the Witsundays, and wanted to help me do that.). The tie-clip however will be remembered and treasured for years. This was a sign, I had turned 21 and entered a workforce where ties where accepted. Now, I'm not forgetting that my brother in law/sister went over the top and brought me an entire suit. That's awesome, I need a suit for my tie clip to have a point. And since SPC stopped selling cans of spag-a-sarus in large tins. The pasta maker will be appreciated. It's just... I REALLY wanted a tie clip, and I got one. Without asking. Okay, it is assumed my parents know me enough to get something I really want/enjoy, but they didn't have to get me anything but the money for my trip. Seriously, if any of my friends want to get me something for when I next come back, that shows they impressively care about me, they have their work cut out for them. Their probably going to go for the USB drive which can also function as a tie clip.


A tie clip with TWO fuctions?! THE UNIVERSE IS BROKE! Although, how do you view all your funny pics of cats while sitting at a windy bus stop, I'm going to have to have my other tie clip as a back up for this situation.


The other pity was with how long people decided to stay. I mean, yeah I like seeing all my family, but guys, I have to get up at 6:30am EVERY DAY. Guy straight out of uni not used to that time schedule. Needs his sleep. And the fact that it was the last time in the house I was sharing with housemate. I loved that house. I matured in that house, like mould on a sandwich. Sure the house I was a child in was special with a few select memories. But this had my high school hell and uni days. This had my play through of HL2 for the first time. This had my use of 5.1 surround sound to scare cats. This house had my first blog post. This house had bad times. This house had me discovering who I was. That wasn't actually suppose to be my masturbation joke, but it'll do. Okay, that house didn't have an awkward high school experience. But it did hold memories with a rabbit (and it's poop.) that I will actually hold dear even though it wanted to break out really bad and the fact that it wasn't mine. This house had that time where I got the worst grade in my class for the very first assignment in year 8. Which is the other thing I wish I had on my 21st.


My family aren't really a fan of speeches, they go on forever, a lot aren't well thought out, and their either mushy, or sound like you're about to ask the person the speech is about to borrow his car to go steal a couch of a nearby lawn, even though you don't actually have a licence and you've had 3 vodkas. But seeing I didn't have any friends there to tell me my life had meant something to them, I wanted the other people who'd put up with me to do so. 


So there was mild mention of a nudie run in year 3. I justify this as I thought it would save time. I realised I didn't take my bathers with me into the school change rooms. I thought, I'll just nip out, it's a 15 metre run to my bag, I'll put them on and then walk back. It'll be fine. Don't do this when you go to the same primary school as your older sister. Your sister will be humiliated and blame you for everything, I'm sure any sort of teasing that occurred has long since been forgotten. The school will inform your parents, you will have an interesting talk and be given pamphlets on self esteem. Wait, what? That's right. For running through the school naked I was told I had low self esteem. Man, I was part of the Y gen that keep getting told that we're all going to save the world. And I had the confidence to let everything flail around in public. I needed a pamphlet on "If you run out there naked you will realise just how cold today is." It was FREEZING. Hence, my nudity has been restricted to times it's warm enough to do so. Queensland is awesome.


There was also that time when I was between 4 and 6 and a pelican nicked my hat. "What's this kid think he's doing, he's shorter than me, walking right up all in my business, I'm going to steal that stupid thing on his head. WTF he's chasing me?! I'm gonna run away... Oh yeah, I have wings, totally dropping this thing, if he still runs after me, I'm dropping something else."


There was also that time when I was 5 and ate a whole bottle of multi vitamins. 5 year old logic 1 pill = 1 day of healthy, whole bottle = INFINITE HEALTHY! NO VEGGIES EVER AGAIN! Mum (the next morning.): This bottle was full... Me: "Yeah, I ate them all. I bet I can fly now!" The only ability I got was fluorescent pee. You'd think it would of gone away after 16 years.


Now, I don't really like dobbing him in, but recently my dad had admitted to me that he was very scared about me in high school. I'm not sure if it steamed from this first assignment, or from the fact I coasted through primary school. But he admitted that he was so proud that he was wrong. That I had gotten my act together and got into uni, did a 3 year course in 3 years and got into a grad program. Moved across the country. And he was not scared to leave me there. He could trust me to take care of myself. And that was huge. Thanks Dad, I'm still amazed that I managed to accomplish this myself, I'm sorry for concerning you during high school and having a few near misses when it came to grades. I'm still not sure about this whole "working" thing, but at least I could make you proud once, if that's the only time you're are proud of me for the rest of my life, I'm sorry, but I will try my best to rise to another challenge, not just for your sake, but the last thing I want to do is make my parents think I'm having trouble with something. I've caused them enough grief over the years.


He then apologised for never taking me to a strip club and that my blog was awesome. I... Have no idea how I could be any more proud of who I'm related to.


Seriously, He's really proud of how entertaining and informative my writing style is, so that's a plus. Meaning he only just started reading it after I started spell checking it.


Speaking of new readers however. I'd like to say a warm hello to a person who has started commenting on my posts. And following me. And friended me on Facebook. And is liking a whole lot of my status updates. And has talked to me on Skype. Madame, you do realise how close you are entering into Stalkee #3 territory? Oh and you admit you're stalking me? And you appear to value my opinions? And you are in other country so you can actually have a meaningful relationship while "liking" me? Oh you have no idea what a unique position you are in! Seriously, wait till you've received your official "RTA stalkee" hat and you've exploited me for at least a night on my  sofa (it's okay, it's a foldout bed.) before ditching me (I KNOW, the other two got T shirts, but then I have to get sizes, there's complications in postage, it ends up a real mess.) and ruining what could of been a good friendship.


Nah, I'm not ready to ruin another friendship. Although the sofabed is open to most family and friends travelling through Brisbane. But the hat you gotta work for.


Positions unavailable:


Because the job you want, you probably don't know that it even exists. Or that it's taken.


Test subjects are needed to find out if money does buy happiness.  


Successful applicants will be given large amounts of money to go spend on anything they want. You will then be assessed on your happiness levels, on a rating of  happiness, based on the scale"Having constipation"  to "Found your car keys you've been looking for, for twenty minutes" up to "Coming back as an alpha male lion and being waited on hand and foot and being able to consummate 50 times a day for three days straight" all the way up to "You met your future self and they tell you everything turns out awesome, and they're not lying. To the epiphany "Got given a whole bowl of cookie dough to eat raw.".


Places she isn't:


Perth. She might still be there, but I was only there for 38 hours, and didn't really go out to a public area.


South Bank. Was there Sunday just gone. large markets, REALLY nice selection of restaurants and a view of gross water. Great way to spend a Sunday, though.  


So until I start acting my age, good bye.

1 comment:

  1. Maybe you should get a housemate? Then he/she could be Housemate II. Or if it was a girl, she might walk around with very little clothes, which would make for some VERY entertaining blog posts.

    ReplyDelete