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Sigh.
Maybe if I'd didn't look at the ABC website and see that SuperTed was available on DVD I wouldn't have stayed up so late on the Thursday night and I would have gone to bed earlier, and I would have been more awake at work the next day and none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I didn't take so long choosing today's clothes I would have been more alert and none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I'd slept that little bit longer and missed my bus, and felt obliged to have lunch later, none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I didn't go out last night, or didn't waste so much time on Friday morning, I would have made my lunch like I normally do and none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I hadn't got distracted by a call, I wouldn't of left for lunch later than I normally do, and none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I didn't have that health scare (I'll get to it.) earlier this year, I would of taken the lift, and none of this would have happened.
Maybe if I went straight to lunch, and didn't read through a few news articles first, I wouldn't have been so annoyed at people going down the stairs.
Maybe if, in my moment jerk back to reality in which I realised I should be concentrating on the stairs so I don't trip, I would have completely stopped, or just completed the step I was on, rather than I minor freak out and choosing to jump the rest of the eight stairs.
Maybe in that moment, where I realised I was going down eight stairs and might not make it, I could of changed my angle, and aimed for the bottom stair.
Maybe if I hadn't brought the cheaper shoes two weeks ago, they would of had better grip, and I wouldn't of fallen after attempting to land solely on my right foot.
Maybe if I'd had dry cleaned my other pants earlier in the week as I had originally intended, I would have worn another pair, and when I slid across the floor, the wouldn't have ripped.
Maybe after coming back from lunch, someone had immediately noticed the hole, I would of been sent away for workcover stuff immediately.
Maybe if I wasn't such a beggar for attention, I wouldn't have posted about the hole on Facebook, and my annoyance that I'll have to get it repaired.
Maybe if I hadn't friended one of the people I work with on Facebook, he wouldn't have asked me about the hole from across the room.
Maybe if my team leader wasn't in earshot. He wouldn't of heard and wanted to see the hole too.
Maybe if I hadn't revealed that it had happened in the stairwell, and let them believe that it had happened when I was at home, everyone would have laughed and got on with everything.
Maybe if I had filled out the incident report faster, I would have put the icepack on earlier.
Maybe if I had booked a doctor in the city, rather than my usual.
Maybe if I had just booked the appointment for Saturday rather than thinking I could get from the city to Kedron in 30 minutes on a Friday afternoon.
Maybe if I had called and organised the taxi as I'd put the ice pack on, rather than after the required 30 minutes, I would have have got the taxi on time, instead of waiting, getting a taxi that wouldn't pick me up (As I wasn't going to the airport.) or maybe I would have got the second one that just completely drove past.
Maybe if I had suggested the back route I knew instead of letting the taxi stick to main roads, I may have made that appointment, rather being dropped off a kilometre away from my house.
Maybe then I wouldn't have had to go in to the medical centre the next morning, then maybe I wouldn't have decided to go food shopping on the way home (as I was driving past) without full knowledge of what I actually needed to restock.
And that my friends, is today's lesson.
"Don't fall down stairs, you'll end up with 2.5kg of shredded cheese in the fridge."
But by now someone is probably overly concerned about my "prior health scare"
Blurred vision just kinda freaked me out a bit, and after reflecting on my last 21 year worth of diet, I thought it was high time that I found out if I had broken my body yet. Seven little tubes of blood later, I have a healthy cholesterol, regular blood sugars, a normal thyroid, healthy kidneys. After a diet with a high carnivorous content, the last question in the world I thought I'd be asked was:
"Your iron is a little low, how much meat do you eat?"
Well that did knock the wind out of me all round. My blood is healthy, my pancreas hasn't packed it in, and my body demands a six meats pizza for dinner. All jokes aside, I do need to start eating better to get it well into the next 50+ years, but the fact is, this first twenty have been pretty much void so far.
So yeah, that's been my last couple of weeks. Also transitioning to new job, but, minor detail. Seriously, the thing was the cheese is much more interesting.
CCMMOTM for October:
Okay, so this didn't have quite the affect I was hoping for. I was hoping actually that Stalkee #3 would like the idea, and possibly even send me some suggestions for songs that she thought would be also representing how she was feeling at the present time. Well, I'm not sure what she actually thought of it because she chose to completely ignore it. She didn't even like my last post.. :( Not that I need some sort of artificial crutch of respect and admiration of everything I do as being perfect and sweet through her eyes.
But it does help.
Dude, hasn't she 'liked' nearly every other post you make?
Yes, that's true, but this was my first public venting about talking about how much her drunk texts really mean the world to me and she chose to ignore it.
Wait, so you asked "What did you think of CCMMOTM?" and she changed the subject?
Well, I didn't exactly bring it up..
So, you haven't actually heard what she thought of the post, so you're assuming she hates it?
Well, yeah, why wouldn't she not bring it up?
Because, maybe she missed it? Dude, you make like 6 posts an hour some days, and you expect her to notice a blog post?
Yeah, well I sware someone from the Netherlands appeared in my stats.
Yes, I did read it, it wasn't bad, it just wasn't your best, plus your music selections weren't great, I just thought that our relationship was better than random songs you picked scrolling through your 'borrowed' music folder, oh and in your "unsubtle mix" you missed out a few really obvious songs that you really ought to have included.
Okay, seriously, is she going to keep appearing like that?
Most likely.
Hello, you must be Lachlan's self-consciousness.
Maybe. Look, do you wanna hear his CCMMOTM for October and then November or not?
I guess.
The Pursuit of Happiness - The Divine Comedy Okay, yes, this one just happened to be one Shuffle landed on a lot last month, but seriously, it has a nice message - "I'm happy, you're happy, the world is screwed up but let's just get together anyway." And seriously, that orchestral section in the middle is just awesome.
Yeah, it's okay.
Thank you. Forever is a long time and to be with one person forever is getting harder, so I chose this next one specifically because I think it really positively reflects on how important time is together, as well as apart.
Oh god, you're just going to pick "Without You" for November aren't you?
No, much like "Just the Way You Are." I have issues with this.
Oh now you've done it, he's going to rant now...
It might be interesting...
Say that when you've been in here 10 years
Yes, "Without You" does sound nice, but much like "Replay" sure, it's catchy and gets in your head - but then you realise what it's actually about. It's not just a sweet, "I have been with you so long, I can't imagine life without you" or "I just want to be around you a lot, and I feel really comfortable around you." It's
I WANT TO CUT OFF MY HEAD AND PUT IT ON YOUR SHOULDER!!
As much as I love to be clingy - this guy just is to the point of annoyance,
"Oh I can't do anything unless you're beside my side I even have trouble making regular bowel movements" - To the point where he states that he is incapable of the following things:
- Movement
- Sight
- Be able to think positively
- Sleep
Look, man, there was a time before this girl, I'm sure she's awesome, and it's not just because she has a nice rack, but you were able to sleep before her, in fact, love actually stimulates serotonin production, a side effect of which can result in irregular sleep/poor sleep. So there, breaking up may actually lead to a better sleeping pattern, so it might be better for you in the long run.
I'm sorry, but a strong relationship is one thing, but I'm giving this girl full permission to dump his ass for being over dependant and clingy.
And I'm pretty sure the main melody is a rip off from "Chopsticks" as well as the piano from "Yellow" in the last 25 seconds.
You think the piano from "Yellow" is in everything.
Oh that isn't true, sometimes it's the four cords from "Don't Stop Believin'" sometimes it's the eight notes from " Pacabell's cannon in D"
The CCMMOTM for November has actually been a bit harder,
You know, you could just pick "Submarine Symphonika" and be done with it.
I could, but, I'd like you to know that there was actually thought behind the choice. Annoyingly, the more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes...
I can hear housemate #2 sighing right now and thinking "Really? Really Lachlan?" Well, Housemate #2 (And Housemate #1 if he gets roped into this discussion.) YES, SHE WORTH WATCHING HIGH SCHOOL RUMBLE.
I just want it on the record that I sent you that song months ago as a piece of advice.
If you let me continue, I would of said "Actually, this is cheating a bit, because she sent this as a bit of advice." It was sitting there all along, and it's perfect. You see, but the next blog post, a moment will have occurred which will either go fantastic, or go down like the Hindenburg. And the outcome will depend purely on whether the timing was actually right. Whether it was smart to pick this date in particular, in this location in particular, or whether I should have waited. I will know all of this, by the next post. Which is very scary. So I have to sort out an environment which is neutral and that if things go wrong, they don't go overly wrong. That is, the moment will not occur on a blimp suspended by Hydrogen. I'm trying to stay away from eateries. I mean, there is always Happy Feet 2.
Really? REALLY? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAALLLLY? You're trying to create a romantic setting and the best you can do is a kid's film, the first of which, granted, did have romantic content, but is it really possible that the second one won't over emphasise on the importance of conservation as opposed to the fact that every six months a bird walks 40 kilometres to have 30 seconds of sex, then proceeds to stand in a huddle with hundreds of other guys?
Ah, now that's what the third one should be about, the awkwardness of being homosexual in the huddle.
Just an FYI, talking about homosexuality in birds is generally a turn off.
Noted. Okay, granted, I can see it having even more environmental overtones and an even younger target audience for some reason. But hey, not everyday you walk into a movie theatre and think "Geez, some of these guys are more likely to get to second base during this film than I am...." Although, the number of people complaining about the fact that Mumble doesn't look aged does give me hope that there maybe people above the age of five genuinely interested in seeing this.
Anyway, the next couple of weeks is for me, and me alone to mess up.
Graffiti of the Week:
This week's selections come from a series of improved posters from around a building site in West End in which new sky rise apartments are to be located, which apparently are being marketed toward androgynous couples who love almost kissing in front of matte paintings of generic skylines.
Male: How do I tell I've been sleeping with Sarah?
Female: How do I tell I've been sleeping with Sarah
Invite Sarah to a game of charades and see where things go from there.
Male (Made more apparent this time by someone drawing male genitals on him, unfortunately, were not biology experts, so have drawn them on his face.)
Female: I would love you more if we lived in the river
Unfortunately, single white female, the Brisbane river is a high traffic waterway, meaning stationary buoyant accommodation is impossible.
Male: Drown me already
These apartments are actually located some distance away from the river, in order to successfully submerge your respiratory system, you would have to perform a 15 minute walk or a 5 minute bus ride on one of Translink's many convenient routes that travel in and around South Bank and the central business district of Brisbane.
Until I get banned from the network, or get worker's compensation for a bruise that has all but disappeared, good bye.
You only just got that breastfeeding joke now, didn't you?
