What a difference a week makes...

This blog does not represent the opinion of any company, industry or persons mentioned. This blog is written for entertainment purposes only and is not be taken seriously.

Any insults, defamatory remarks and anything else which you deem as "offensive" is not meant, is said because the writer wants to appear more arrogant and more self confident than he actually is. He's really a timid sheep that you should probably beat the crap out of. That does not mean he'll stop doing it, he's also a bit of an idiot and doesn't learn quick.

Anyway!

The week of the 30th of May, to the 3rd of June 2011 will be one that will be forever etched onto my memory not only was it the most insane week I've had in AGES, it was the week I made three changes which will affect my the rest of my life. Probably. Not content with simply making one life altering decision. I made THREE. Okay for some people this is probably not a big deal, and the decisions may appear very minor, but the fact is they will continue to slightly impact my life forever. So let's begin at Monday.

Now actually, before I begin. I want to actually expand on the fact that people who have started reading my blog have found it way too open and presents me as overly self-confident and arrogant. I will try to tone this down, it's not that I don't care, and I try not to go out of my way to be offensive, I just, like appearing as "this" to an online audience. I'm very sorry to anyone who doesn't like this. But it feels so good, to not just get this out of my system. But to actually have people read it, and in cases. Respond, react. I'm a shy person, this is a mask of someone I'd like to be more like and this is a way for others to see who I want to be, to see what's really going on inside my head. I feel fantastic knowing this is read by a small group of friends and others who want to know what's going on with me. Who can see a more honest vision of me, that you really only otherwise see when you get to know me, or in times of great anxiety.

I'm really not sure how I'd like to be, prefer to be need to be, I think a little more confident, willing to say those stupid things (One of the more recent times I did, I got threatened to be punched. It was along the lines of being disappointed at the number of dudes at the bar, but that doesn't mean the orgy still couldn't take place. Someone there obviously was as bad as picking up sarcasm as I was, or just didn't want to see another guy's genitals that night, thought that the quickest way for me to retract my comment would be to make me unable to speak. He was drunk I was a little bit tipsy, it was a disaster anyway. There was no one to talk to. Forget about it, it was silly, but I thought it could have started a discussion.)

Monday, you can fall apart.

I thought it was going to be a normal week. I thought that this meeting would just be a pretty ordinary meeting, talk about progress, look at some of my mapping. But, I got told that my progress, approach to my work and my communication skills were less than they were required to be.

Those of you who have read this blog, know that I have been unhappy with my job. And unfortunately, that hasn't been the boost I've needed to start enjoying it and really pushing myself to do well. Instead it has caused poor performance and me to go down a slippery slope into performing even worse and eventually this conversation. Then I got a bit of an ultimatum, start to perform or leave. Actually it was put much more eloquently than that, my boss and fellow co-workers were going out of their way to help me on either path I chose, and wanted me to give me the support I needed on whichever path I chose.

To be honest, it was always in the back of my mind. A tiny little voice saying "Why aren't you allowing yourself to be happy, face it, you can't do this job, you don't have the motivation to, why are you continuing to bother these people?" Why? Because I'd moved across the country. Because I'd caused I great inconvenience to a whole load of people around me. And I didn't want to disappoint them. Because I like to deny myself happiness. Why? Because happiness to me, currently, is doing as little as possible, no goals, no objectives, just, sitting. And that's currently not very mature and, every time I have indulged in it, not very satisfying. Which is where it gets complicated, I'm happy, but unfulfilled. I always thought they were one in the same but not.

I start thinking through everything. If I leave, I will be on the other side of the country to everyone I really know, I'll be in a city I don't really know. I could move back, but there are things I'd like to avoid back there. And there is more opportunity here. So I guess if I go through with this my choice would be, stay here and find another job.

I had actually made my choice then. I was going to leave, going to find another job somewhere else, some job that I could really get into, no matter how out of reach the requirements, I believed I could do anything and really push myself and enjoy myself in another position more closely aligned with what I wanted to be when I "grew up"

Full of moral support from those at work I went home full of self-confidence, ready to sort my life out. I will probably look back on "sorting my life out" at that particular moment with a great sense of enjoyment, because at that moment, sorting my life out boiled down to two things, one, doing the dishes from breakfast that morning, and two, sending an email that I had been holding of from doing.

For me, confessing my feelings to a member of opposite sex to begin a relationship had always boiled down to three elements:

1. Undo-able - As I believe would be the best option, I have always believed you should ask out people you've known for ages and have fallen for purely because you can tolerate them far beyond the fleeting moments you really spend with them. The problem being, if the future is not mutual, well, you sort of wish things could be back the way you are. So in those times when you screw up a friendship, you hope not to screw it up too bad. But, it you're good, normally you can only do a little bit of damage. When it fails, you want to know you can still talk to them.

2. Kill the "Right now" voice. The one thing I've never liked anyone to believe is the fact that I'm going after them for the rest of my life. I understand that if they don't like it, it would be very rare for anything to happen, so I like to flat out tell them. I may think of them that way, but don't interpret anything I'm doing as trying to win you back.

3. Still willing to go for the friends with benefits, cause hey, you never know.

While preparing for the worst is probably a very negative approach, I have been rejected a lot, so I just go with it, it hurts, but its one thing I'd really like to get right in my life, I'm willing to go through thousands of rejections if I get a yes that is worth it. So on Monday, I decided to ruin a relationship which I had believe gotten way too enjoyable to keep

I do admit, I had sent her a message a couple of weeks prior, and the lack of response meant that I would follow up with one shortly. I had never planned it to be a confession of the feelings which had developed, but I now had the opportunity to find out if there was something more there.

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

Well, what can I say, this went exactly as expected.

Oh yes. Sorry, sort of important point. This girl is from another country. I've never met her before. I've just talked with her a lot. She will be in Australia for a holiday next year, but... Opportunity presented itself, so, I went with it. I couldn't help myself.  My only knowledge that this will not end like Catfish being the fact that I've talked to her on Skype. NO. Not telling you how Catfish ends. Ever talked to someone for a short time and felt you've known them for your whole life? No? Nor have I, but, she's... I can talk to her. Easily. About anything. Previous potential suitresses I have normally felt nervous breeching most topics, in this case, it's damn easy. Still have kerbed some of my more perverted thoughts, but any meme is discussable. And that's just huge. But anyway. I tried and it ended, so, yeah. Luckily, being the awesome female specimen that she is, she just said, "Can we just pretend this never happen, I still like to talk to you about stuff. And I'm still meeting you next year." Rejections still do hurt, but I know the pain goes away, another girl will come along. Things will work out. I'm still young. Meanwhile at work I had made my decision in my head, but was yet to vocalise it. So it was normal, but led to multiple discussions around my desk about where I wanted to be.

Like always, System Administration.

What amazed me is how many times I got reminded I was young. I had always believed 21 was this age where you weren't really allowed to make mistakes any more. I have since been informed you ARE allowed to make mistakes, you just have to LEARN from them. I'm doing my best to learn off this, but it's still hard to pick up the real lesson. "Being negative will result in your eventual downfall?" What ever it may be, I was told that if I think I can be happier somewhere else only I can make that choice, and more importantly, I've got to not care what anyone else thinks. I keep getting mixed messages, but the lesson that I have picked up? Adulthood is still all about faking that you know exactly what you are doing and appearing to do everything on purpose. So yes, I moved to Queensland for the better job selection, I believed the best way to do this was to have a group fund me doing this, of course I firmly believed I could fulfil the job requirements, unfortunately despite my best attempts, I found I was not ready for the more business orientated workplace environment.

Thursday doesn't even start...


Which is why on Thursday I got really annoyed with myself. That was the day I was actually suggested to make a decision. And when the time came. There was a pause, and then my head freaked out.

I still tried to convince my boss I could do better. As I was saying it, my head was going "What the heck is coming out of my mouth?!" Then I realised that there's still a large portion of my head that wants to be safe. Wants a daily nine to five, a steady pay check. It's the last strain of logic battered into me after seeing several people I know live like teenagers the rest of their lives. Sure enjoyable, but looked down upon, and although I don't like doing things to please others, it makes things easier in the long run. You can call favours with people who like you, and get invited to dinner parties and be more of a good guy. Now, this is probably the more mature me who I will get to know very well over the next few years. But, I like the me who takes risks, because I don't often have the guts to take a risk, sure I got a "No" on Wednesday, but at least it's out, we can return to awkward conversation, and it doesn't blurt out when we go out drinking, where she might say yes then REALLY regret it the next day. It sucks to get turned down, but the reward is so much greater. Sure I think about leaving here, yeah, I'd be unemployed for a while, things would be awkward a little bit. But the reward would be getting into a job, let's face it, that I'd be more qualified it, despite a possible cut in pay.

Luckily, my boss picked up my momentary grasp of logic and allowed me to revise my statement. So. The decision was made. I'm leaving. Was allowed to leave for the rest of that day, so took some time out to just kick back. Think about my next decision, so I'm unemployed, I do some quick job searches and quickly make my next big decision.

I'm staying in Queensland.

The job selection is much greater. Although I still don't have many ties here, again, it's that little adventurous voice in my head. I possibly want to move again in my life, to unfamiliar places, so should get used to being in this awkward position. So, leaving job. Staying in Queensland. Surely, this week can't get any more weird


Friday I'm...


Of course it can. Like my expenditures, life for me, happens all at once. Work was getting odd, mainly starting to do things to wrap things up, I hadn't yet had a leave date so I wasn't sure when I'd be gone. But when I checked Facebook during a morning break I made a horrifying discovery.

Okay, so she also said to wait a day, she might regret saying it. She may have only said it so she could get some sleep that night.

Saturday... Wait...


She didn't.

So now it's 17 days later.

I'm unemployed.
I'm in Brisbane.
I have a girlfriend who I get to have awkward phone calls with for at least six months before I get to be awkward to her in person.

I hope I haven't really hurt anyone with these decisions. But I'd like to tell those people, I am happy. I'm sorry I put my happiness first about something, but, seriously.

You're apologising for being happy?


This year didn't go the way it was supposed to, that's all. And my idea of happiness doesn't match a lot of other peoples' ideas of happiness. I don't know, I just feel someway guilty for enjoying myself.

You're not hurting anyone in the process are you?


Disappointing, maybe. Some words of advice I got told earlier this year were along the lines of putting aside happiness now, because you have to suffer now to be happy later, if you are reckless now, you'll pay for it later. People are just concerned for me now. Sure I might be singing "The Car Song" when they'd prefer me to be singing "Shop Vac"

So, what you are saying is, you are scared if you don't prioritise your own happiness now, you are scared that you'll never prioritise it, leaving you permanently unhappy, but tolerating it in the belief that you will be happy later. But, in the long run never actually finding happiness because you never put aside time for it?


Erm.... Okay. Actually I just think everybody should watch that sweet typography video. Seriously, so close to justifying getting After Effects to do stuff like that. Oh and something about not gunning down a shopping centre and myself in 20 years.

Weren't you telling me that this female wanted to settle down eventually?


Yes, but then it will be tolerable.

Why?


Because, I could be settling down with her. As I said before, currently, I can make her smile.

Wooh! You've been going out like less than two weeks..

-.- I SAID, I haven't met her yet, I have no idea if I can get her to smile like that. And more importantly, making her smile "like that" is pretty low on my list of priorities. I'm more interested in coming up with in jokes and continuing to make her feel good about herself. I mean, I could worship the ground she walks on, but apparently that just gets annoying, I just want to make sure she can continue tolerating me in return for killing some time with her.

So, you jumped on board with her because she's the first girl who looked at you and didn't throw up?


No!

If I recall correctly you have spent the last four years convincing me that you are the ultimate boyfriend, you doing a good job?


... I'm shitting myself. I'm trying my best.

Just be careful, I'm sure you are great if you continue to be yourself.


So, no sending her a picture of my junk?

Good luck with that... Well, can we at least get an introduction.


Okay.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Miss Stalkee #3's knee!

Could you have chosen a worse photo of me?

Probably not. But that's because there is no bad photo of you.

Aww how sweet, I think I'm getting a cavity.

Hey, why does she get the same font as me? It's because she's tangible, isn't it!

We'll sort this out later. So again, that was my week. Now I get to sort out new job applications and date nights\afternoons in multiple time zones.

The only thing really troubling me is the fact I speak in Times New Roman. Although can someone from the eighties explain to me what is so attractive about a woman having a midnight snack?

Graffiti of the week:

"John Roberts is famous to 1,539 people

"Only one is his mum. The rest are friends of his mum"

"Please DRIVE HOME SAFELY TO YOUR FAMILY"  Technically a sign, but damn random.

"Sitting in this area PROHIBITED" Again, a sign, this time unreadable, but right in front of train tracks. Luckily you can stand there and take a picture of the sign if you want.

Jobs sadly available:

Diagram designer at unspecified work place. Good rates. No computer networking experience required.

Again, that's in jest.


Places where she is. Sixteen thousand, one hundred and forty kilometres, if anyone wanted a distance count. Approx. As the bird flies. Sixteen thousand, one hundred and forty two if I go to the city.

Which reminds me "As the bird flies" is a really bad idiom, birds don't fly in dead straight lines, and they take naps. Except for the Albatross, who can fly while asleep. Seriously, that's SO AWESOME.

"I'm... so tired... can't stay.. awake....
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..


Holy crap I'm in Greenland!"

Until I get banned from the network, or find a new job, Good bye!

"Blob" design copyright Cindy Flowers

400 Days of Maturity

This blog does not represent the opinion of any company, industry or persons mentioned. This blog is written for entertainment purposes only and is not be taken seriously.

This isn't a blog for uni. This is a serious work related document. You've got to write like what you are writing might get put in front of the commissioner.

This is a bit of an oxymoron in my opinion, I wouldn't mind the commissioner reading my blog or the document I've written. Even the planned "10 things I think females should know about semen before having sex." post. I'm not sure if the commissioner of my work is very impressed by semen based humour, particularly by one of their employee's, but the fact is, I'm totally unconcerned about him reading it, even with the spelling misteaks.

But I guess I get the point my boss is trying to make. I need to take work more seriously. Work is hard to take seriously when you've just spent the last 21 years taking nothing seriously, in fact, going out of your way to take nothing seriously. Sure it's occasionally caused some problem, but now, this is serious business.

This means making schedules, doing research and doing all the things that has made work dull and tedious.

You ever see one of those kids shows, and they have two actors, one stands out front the other peeps from behind a wall and all the kids scream "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" and then that guy hides again, and the first performer goes and looks and he's gone?

No? Well, anyway, that's how I feel at work, something is just there, everyone is screaming, "Do this and you'll be good!" but I just can't help being an idiot and turning at the wrong moment. by which point the possibility of doing something that will impress people has long since vanished, oh well.

So that afternoon I come home, feeling a bit down. In a "Why am I here kind of mood" that I go look at some stuff from when I was happy.

My mind immediately goes to my first posts that I really poured out way too much of myself into. I read through the three posts relating to my love of representation of romance in children's films. Ah how good it felt to vent that. But of course, I look it at now. I see really short posts, no flow of wording and just a generally terrible attempt at sharing ideas. I look at what I sent my boss to read over and it's the same. Disjointed text, no flow and a poor attempt at sharing ideas.

But while I continue to struggle to attempt proper rhetoric, I have noticed that some of the content of that post could use a little update. And, as just over 400 days has passed I thought maybe my thoughts and opinions of these films would have matured likewise. That hasn't happened, but I think there does need to be some things mentioned that have happened in the meantime.

Wall-E. I'm still way too similar to this entity. I still watch this movie on average every 6 to 8 weeks, and it was only recently I got reminded that waiting for a woman to alter her opinion based on the way I treat her while she is sleeping is not so great, especially if you get your junk trapped in hers.

Happy Feet. While I am sad that Ms Murphy did decide to top herself and Pink probably won't be a perfect replacement, "Raise your flippers" might be quite catchy. Hopefully the new voice will ad some more energy to the character. I mean, that part at the end where she's like

"I guess I never heard the right song."


And the first response he can think of is "That's great." and she just doesn't bitchslap him right there saying "It's not like I didn't hear some nice ones, I could of had anybody here. It's not like I spent the last umpteen summers sitting on some lonely glacier somewhere watching the horizon waiting for you to see your body swimming toward me, I was listening to every Thomas, Richard and Henry out there. Even some Harriets occasionally. I'd eaten some odd fish that day or something. Hell, one night I even found Ramon was disproportional, not enough evidently, but you catch my drift. And then one day after hanging out with the new borns (As I said before, desperate.), I heard a song so wrong I had to help, because if I heard one more off key note, I would of probably given him to a whale because it reminded me too much of someone else who couldn't sing. So I got into Blues, and had to teach lots of other lonely try hard how to impress ladies with songs of being lost without that special someone. And then a few turns of the earth later you sidle up here, and you expect me to still want you, and you expect me to believe you'll never look at any one else, or ever be one more inch further than 70 miles away from you, because if you ever look at any one else, or if you ever go an inch further away, or spend one second of the moments we're together without your fins wrapped around mine, I don't think I could handle it this time.."

Again, the being desperate and waiting for her to come around apparently works perfectly in movies, but in real life a bit more of a challenge.

Which bring us onto the third film I chose to talk about that evening. Sigh.

Arthur and the Minimoys, was, I thought, going to be a nice trilogy, poor reviews, not really heard of, but would be special, just a "for me" kind of thing, but anyone I showed it to would more or less enjoy it.

Unfortunately, it did all go downhill in the second and third movies. Selena Gomez, despite her similar name to the female protagonist, could not fill the shoes of Madonna, and made her extremely childish. The writer really did get sloppy with the relationship between her and Arthur, the third one having her again trying to pull the sword from the stone, even though she tied doing this for several minutes during the first one, and replaced it back in the stone, PURELY for Arthur's return, but this all seems to have been forgotten and the only illusion towards Arthur and Selenia being a couple is reflected in a train scene where they end up ontop of one another. Several times. Sure it's no "Happy Feet" 'slippery ice' scene, but I'm not actually annoyed at this scene as that it's not risque enough, I'm annoyed because it's the only scene in the third film where Selenia isn't complaining, she knows Arthur will pull through, yet, seems to have short term memory loss cause all the lust, which was pretty much all she was showing in the second film, is gone. And here's me thinking, it's just going to end with Selenia joining the human racce, no, she's going to stay a minimoy, Arthur stays a human and we're back to where we were at the end of the first film, except for a city partially burnt down. Oh and a broken telescope, so you know, Arthur is going to have to have some difficulties if he's ever going to make it back to the Minimoys.

You know how most series get more mature with each film, this goes backwards, seriously.

There's something else, isn't there?


Hmm?

I mean, why are you bringing up a post from 400 days ago, what's so special about that?


Cause it's been four hundred days, yay!

So every four hundred days you're just going to patch together old jokes?


No, it's just I don't really want to.. Nevermind.

Go on, I think we're about to have a break through.


It's just. Back then I didn't have to grow up yet.

Here we go! What do you mean, child, what's stressing you out now, I mean, it can't be just work, can it?


I thought it was getting better. But it isn't. I still do repeated "Learning Opportunities"

And what's wrong with making the same mistake over and over again? Apart from the fact that primates don't even do that.


That's just the thing, I'M AN IDIOT. I'm not a suitable candidate for this roll, this roll, calls for someone mature and logical and able to follow a schedule. I can't even ever follow my own schedule.

Look, if you feel that you're that bad at the job, leave.


I can't, it would terrible on my resume, I probably wouldn't be able to secure another well paying job.

So give them what they want, become an ideal corporate citizen.


I'm trying but it's hard when you just want to do things your own way.

Aren't you moving onto your next rotation soon?


Yes, well, hopefully, and I don't know, maybe that one won't be any better. I've still got to manage to finnish this project in my current rotation, which I'm still not sure I'm good enough for.

It's getting done, isn't it?


Yes, but what if the next rotation I don't go so well, I'm going get put on many projects that may not work out, that I can't can't handle, this is going to end badly...

What you need, is somewhere to vent these anxieties, sometime after work.


After work, I'm exhausted, I have nothing to come home to but my own mess, my own energy to make some tea and get ready for the next day, and find some time to sleep.

Take some time off!


I can't, project is running to a tight schedule. And any time I have off, all I am doing is being constantly reminded that it's going to end and I'm going to have to go back to work.

All of us go through that. Geez, I didn't want to do this. When you meet Stalkee #n, she is going to expect a person who is logically put together, able to balance work and life, willing to put in a 40 hour work week at some high paying job that is very difficult, which make you able to afford any compensating item she desires. You are suppose to take her on trips for a few weeks to lovely places in in Europe, America and New Zealand. You are suppose to move back to Perth, raise a family of a couple of children, in a beautiful 2 by 4 on some street within walking distance to local schools, parks and shops.


No. You know as well as I do, she wouldn't like that. I'm not even mature enough to know exactly what I want, I know it isn't this, I know it isn't coming home to an empty house, not knowing how to properly ballroom dance, knowing that I have to wake up at the same time every day, knowing pretty much what today has instore for me. It's hard to say, but I'm probably still not the person she falls for. I'm still too desperate for her. Maybe there is a place for me there, but I wanna be weird, I want to do things in ways that confuse people. I want to be respected, head hunted even, for my crazy way of doing things.

First, you've got to conform, work your way your way up.


This is the first time, I've ever been really restricted with how I work, and it feels so wrong, so wasted. And I feel like a part of me is wanting me to fail, and that feels even worse.  I don't know who or what broke me, but I don't want to be fixed. And everybody wants me to be fixed. It reminds me of a story I once heard that the original host of Blue's Clue's was once asked "Could you please not look like you, tomorrow?" but I also once heard that he died of a heroin overdose, so I don't know what to believe.

The point is I currently have nothing to look forward to right now, Work is not so great, home life is kinda lonely, and I've got nothing to come home to, except for a few friends kilometres away and a family falling to pieces. Well, partially. I mean, if there was just a crutch that I could lean on, something positive somewhere.

So are you going to try make something better?


Yeah, but it's difficult to just say, this week, I'm going to find some friends! Or, this week Stalkee #n is going to find me! Stalkee #n, who's so relaxed and at ease where ever she is, has managed to stay so relaxed that she hasn't found me yet. It's not as though I've given her much opportunity. Not as though I can realistically expect her to pick the right building and floor in Brisbane and whisk me off to some special ten minute happy place. Perhaps she should try to meet me on the train. An afternoon would be preferable. Her best chance would be the eight-minute ride between Central and home, so she'll have to be a fast worker..


It is incredible how much effort you went to in order to include that "48 Shades of Brown" quote


Yeah, it really annoys me that I only rediscovered it a couple of nights ago, otherwise I would of attached it to every blog post.


Please don't attach it to every blog post, it's funny coming from a 17 year old, from a 21 year old it's just creepy. Wait, you changed it to "ten-minute" in the book it's two, why do you think you can..


Okay, well anyway, the point I was trying to make is, yes I can make all the effort I want to try and get something to come home to, but in the end, I just wait for things to fall into place.


So that's it. In 400 days you've learnt you're not as mature as you thought you were and now your not happy but for different reasons that you weren't happy 400 days ago.


That pretty much sums it up.


But you have learnt something. You know what makes you happy. And that's massive, not many people do that in their entire lifetime and you've worked it out by 21. And the best moments of your life haven't happened yet, so why can't you look forward to that?


Wait, what makes me happy? OH THAT. Oh yes. But I am slightly sick of looking forward, so I'll move on now to things I have seen


Graffiti of the week:

 This actually has appeared on a number of sites, but I can be proud and say, I noticed it and took a photo. 

I'm not sure how they got the whole band inside a box.

"No Diving, there is no lifeguard."

Good night!

Day 7670

This blog does not represent the opinion of any company, industry or persons mentioned. This blog is written for entertainment purposes only and is not be taken seriously.

What time is it?  The clock says half nine... Is that right? Sun is up a fair way. Yeah, I'd believe 9.30 am. Think I'm gonna lie here a bit. Erg.. I guess the flight was uneventful. Can't really believe I'm in another time zone, let alone the 22nd 26th of February I've seen. Actually I had bad colic for a while, and there was that year I had that tummy bug. And the first one I really pulled a half day. 


Let's go with "experienced" instead. This one was alright, an inscribed flask, a pasta maker and money from my extended family. So that was nice people being considerate about the fact that I had to haul it back to Brisbane so not buying me any items or objects of any sentimental value. I mean, that's totally the reason no one thought about something to give me. Okay, that did come off a little sour, and to be honest, I have a lot of trouble buying for some people, and it is very nice having some assistance for all these mysterious bills which keep turning up unannounced. Okay, slightly announced, but still, uncalled for.("All you're doing is burning stuff to make smoke and rotate a turbine, how dare you charge me for your smoke!"). But the knowledge that when I come back to Brisbane I was going to get no recognition at all (Except for my team leader, she's known me for such a short time, yet heard it was my birthday, so acknowledged me on Monday and we had a talk about the weekend, thank you so much. Although I scored a dead-to-me look when I indirectly called Adelaide a hole. So, recognition is unlikely ever going to happen again. I COME FROM PERTH. I deserved a retort.). It was just a shame that I couldn't see my mates (They were all busy and it was just the wrong weekend all around.) during this family event, and one of them couldn't say "Dude, I remembered once last year, you once mentioned in conversation just as I was walking out of earshot you suggested that one day you'd like a Slushie Cup, so I brought you one. And I could say "Really I admitted that once outloud?" and they could say, "Not really, but I could see in the look on your face that Lachlan needs a slushie cup." I don't really have any friends that have the ability to mind read, nor the real want or need for a slushie cup. But a reference to an old in-joke, or a "This is pointless but I know Lachlan, and Lachlan would love this" type gift. would of been nice to know that the previous 7669 days haven't been in vein.


As you can probably tell the finding friends thing is still not working out too well, it'll work out, but it's hard finding someone to relate to the "moved-across-the-country-for-a-job-but-seriously-too-young-to-be-looking-after-myself-and-and-would-like-to-find-a-group-to-drag-me-to-LANs-and-force-me-to-tidy-my-house-if-they-wanna-see-my-cool-setup-of-playing-Lips-over-skype" niche.


Although my parents did over deliver, with the simple gift of a tie clip. I have wanted a tie clip since I've worn ties and found they are very subjective to breeze. My parents didn't actually know this, I had said I would love a tie clip to nearly every person I've met except my parents . There are hot dog salespeople running small carts in Fortitude Valley that know I wanted a tie clip. My mum just somehow knew to give me a tie clip and went to several stores, and probably over payed for this simple gift. As well as giving me several other items (Like some financial assistance, not just for the sake of giving me financial assistance, for the sake that they knew I wanted to take the train up and go see some of the Witsundays, and wanted to help me do that.). The tie-clip however will be remembered and treasured for years. This was a sign, I had turned 21 and entered a workforce where ties where accepted. Now, I'm not forgetting that my brother in law/sister went over the top and brought me an entire suit. That's awesome, I need a suit for my tie clip to have a point. And since SPC stopped selling cans of spag-a-sarus in large tins. The pasta maker will be appreciated. It's just... I REALLY wanted a tie clip, and I got one. Without asking. Okay, it is assumed my parents know me enough to get something I really want/enjoy, but they didn't have to get me anything but the money for my trip. Seriously, if any of my friends want to get me something for when I next come back, that shows they impressively care about me, they have their work cut out for them. Their probably going to go for the USB drive which can also function as a tie clip.


A tie clip with TWO fuctions?! THE UNIVERSE IS BROKE! Although, how do you view all your funny pics of cats while sitting at a windy bus stop, I'm going to have to have my other tie clip as a back up for this situation.


The other pity was with how long people decided to stay. I mean, yeah I like seeing all my family, but guys, I have to get up at 6:30am EVERY DAY. Guy straight out of uni not used to that time schedule. Needs his sleep. And the fact that it was the last time in the house I was sharing with housemate. I loved that house. I matured in that house, like mould on a sandwich. Sure the house I was a child in was special with a few select memories. But this had my high school hell and uni days. This had my play through of HL2 for the first time. This had my use of 5.1 surround sound to scare cats. This house had my first blog post. This house had bad times. This house had me discovering who I was. That wasn't actually suppose to be my masturbation joke, but it'll do. Okay, that house didn't have an awkward high school experience. But it did hold memories with a rabbit (and it's poop.) that I will actually hold dear even though it wanted to break out really bad and the fact that it wasn't mine. This house had that time where I got the worst grade in my class for the very first assignment in year 8. Which is the other thing I wish I had on my 21st.


My family aren't really a fan of speeches, they go on forever, a lot aren't well thought out, and their either mushy, or sound like you're about to ask the person the speech is about to borrow his car to go steal a couch of a nearby lawn, even though you don't actually have a licence and you've had 3 vodkas. But seeing I didn't have any friends there to tell me my life had meant something to them, I wanted the other people who'd put up with me to do so. 


So there was mild mention of a nudie run in year 3. I justify this as I thought it would save time. I realised I didn't take my bathers with me into the school change rooms. I thought, I'll just nip out, it's a 15 metre run to my bag, I'll put them on and then walk back. It'll be fine. Don't do this when you go to the same primary school as your older sister. Your sister will be humiliated and blame you for everything, I'm sure any sort of teasing that occurred has long since been forgotten. The school will inform your parents, you will have an interesting talk and be given pamphlets on self esteem. Wait, what? That's right. For running through the school naked I was told I had low self esteem. Man, I was part of the Y gen that keep getting told that we're all going to save the world. And I had the confidence to let everything flail around in public. I needed a pamphlet on "If you run out there naked you will realise just how cold today is." It was FREEZING. Hence, my nudity has been restricted to times it's warm enough to do so. Queensland is awesome.


There was also that time when I was between 4 and 6 and a pelican nicked my hat. "What's this kid think he's doing, he's shorter than me, walking right up all in my business, I'm going to steal that stupid thing on his head. WTF he's chasing me?! I'm gonna run away... Oh yeah, I have wings, totally dropping this thing, if he still runs after me, I'm dropping something else."


There was also that time when I was 5 and ate a whole bottle of multi vitamins. 5 year old logic 1 pill = 1 day of healthy, whole bottle = INFINITE HEALTHY! NO VEGGIES EVER AGAIN! Mum (the next morning.): This bottle was full... Me: "Yeah, I ate them all. I bet I can fly now!" The only ability I got was fluorescent pee. You'd think it would of gone away after 16 years.


Now, I don't really like dobbing him in, but recently my dad had admitted to me that he was very scared about me in high school. I'm not sure if it steamed from this first assignment, or from the fact I coasted through primary school. But he admitted that he was so proud that he was wrong. That I had gotten my act together and got into uni, did a 3 year course in 3 years and got into a grad program. Moved across the country. And he was not scared to leave me there. He could trust me to take care of myself. And that was huge. Thanks Dad, I'm still amazed that I managed to accomplish this myself, I'm sorry for concerning you during high school and having a few near misses when it came to grades. I'm still not sure about this whole "working" thing, but at least I could make you proud once, if that's the only time you're are proud of me for the rest of my life, I'm sorry, but I will try my best to rise to another challenge, not just for your sake, but the last thing I want to do is make my parents think I'm having trouble with something. I've caused them enough grief over the years.


He then apologised for never taking me to a strip club and that my blog was awesome. I... Have no idea how I could be any more proud of who I'm related to.


Seriously, He's really proud of how entertaining and informative my writing style is, so that's a plus. Meaning he only just started reading it after I started spell checking it.


Speaking of new readers however. I'd like to say a warm hello to a person who has started commenting on my posts. And following me. And friended me on Facebook. And is liking a whole lot of my status updates. And has talked to me on Skype. Madame, you do realise how close you are entering into Stalkee #3 territory? Oh and you admit you're stalking me? And you appear to value my opinions? And you are in other country so you can actually have a meaningful relationship while "liking" me? Oh you have no idea what a unique position you are in! Seriously, wait till you've received your official "RTA stalkee" hat and you've exploited me for at least a night on my  sofa (it's okay, it's a foldout bed.) before ditching me (I KNOW, the other two got T shirts, but then I have to get sizes, there's complications in postage, it ends up a real mess.) and ruining what could of been a good friendship.


Nah, I'm not ready to ruin another friendship. Although the sofabed is open to most family and friends travelling through Brisbane. But the hat you gotta work for.


Positions unavailable:


Because the job you want, you probably don't know that it even exists. Or that it's taken.


Test subjects are needed to find out if money does buy happiness.  


Successful applicants will be given large amounts of money to go spend on anything they want. You will then be assessed on your happiness levels, on a rating of  happiness, based on the scale"Having constipation"  to "Found your car keys you've been looking for, for twenty minutes" up to "Coming back as an alpha male lion and being waited on hand and foot and being able to consummate 50 times a day for three days straight" all the way up to "You met your future self and they tell you everything turns out awesome, and they're not lying. To the epiphany "Got given a whole bowl of cookie dough to eat raw.".


Places she isn't:


Perth. She might still be there, but I was only there for 38 hours, and didn't really go out to a public area.


South Bank. Was there Sunday just gone. large markets, REALLY nice selection of restaurants and a view of gross water. Great way to spend a Sunday, though.  


So until I start acting my age, good bye.